There's a TV ad in the UK that's been running sporadically for donkey's years. God, the first time I saw it I was a disillusioned undergrad, absorbed in Camus and Sartre, imperious in my despair but generally happy sleeping my way through halls and getting smashed. I'm talking about the famous 'Ronseal' ad, an ad about a can of woodstain that, cue the immortal strap, "does exactly what it says on the tin".
The Ronseal
strap got me thinking about a card that, just like a can of Ronseal woodstain, would itself do only what was said on the tin. In short, it would be a credit card that would rejoice in its utter banality. It would be a credit card for the new breed of consumer that hates being
marketed to, those people who are sick to death of
relentless corporate messaging — semiotic violence — in search of that golden 2%. Here's a card that would shun traditional popular media, but which would, among the pioneers, be hugely popular.
I wondered if someone would be brave enough to create this card, an anti-card,
a credit card that would have no bells and whistles, no branding, for
which not a penny would be spent on PR and which would never be
marketed other than through one simple seed in some social networking
site or other (or maybe a couple of blogs). I'm thinking a few simple
lines, inviting a few select individuals to check it out, and learn
more about why it is what it is. That's it, nothing more.
The card would be named
Credit Card, there wouldn't be a logo on it (unless you deem the words 'Credit Card' in black type on a plain white background to constitute a logo), there wouldn't even be a Visa or Mastercard logo (although one of them — in a quite unbelievable volte face — would have signed up); but there would, unavoidably, be a chip.
So, the card would be launched by simply lighting a fire in a relevant blog or social networking site — I'm thinking two little sticks gleefully rubbed together, not firelighters and barbeque fluid. OK, there'd have to be a website, where you could apply and learn more, but it would be delightfully uncluttered, super-plain and under no circumstance would it cross-sell me a pension, some insurance or an investment fund. Likewise any other online correspondence.
The website and someone real to speak to, that would be about it. There'd be no TV ads, no billboards, no direct mail, no press releases, no nothing.
Best of all, if a journalist called through wanting to learn more, you'd simply tell them to beat it and hang up (now that would be satisfying). Instead, the money that would traditionally be spent on advertising, marketing and PR support would be used to make the annual fee and interest rate as competitive as possible, and the customer support as, well, supportive and friendly as possible.
There wouldn't be any loyalty scheme attached to the card, or bonus points for doing this that or the other. That, after all, would involve marketing, and marketing, well, people have just had enough. Instead, everything would go towards keeping costs down, and giving cardholders the cheapest possible credit card. For that, after all, is what it is.
Funnily enough, it wouldn't cost much to launch, either. And the first-mover might just make a packet in the process.
I don't know, just a thought.